Gray-ting

There's been a lot of "gray" talk in the media lately. Most of it centers around the racy book series most of the women I know have either read or are going to read (meh), but I've also been seeing a lot of stuff about the beauty of allowing your hair to go "naturally" gray.


As a woman who has fought my gray hair every step of the way, I find myself very bothered that I am now being told to embrace my grayness. That I should "empower" myself to reveal the authentic me. Enjoy the beauty of the silver.


Thank you, but I would rather file my teeth down to nubs and chew a roll of aluminum foil.


Please don't get me wrong - I know that gray hair is beautiful on some women. Heloise has always been gorgeous. I respect that certain individuals feel comfortable with gray hair, and that's awesome for them. And I certainly take no issue with the random strays of gray that some ladies sport because seriously, it just makes them look cool. You know who you are.


But please do not try and tell me that a full head of gray hair makes any woman look younger. Have you been watching "The Biggest Loser" this season? Did you see gray-haired Christine walk into the room with her husband Santa and think - gosh, she looks like she's younger than him but that gray hair... and then choke when you realized she was only 42??? I'm not sure there was ever a contestant on that show who needed make-over week more. Praise God she let the hairdresser color her hair.


All joking aside, just 'twixt us kids, if I didn't have a close personal relationship with my wonderful hair stylist (Betsy I love you), I would be looking like Christine in no time at all. I, too, would be sporting a completely gray head of hair. And let's be very clear. I DO NOT enjoy my gray hair. It's wiry. It's unmanageable. It makes me feel older than I am. Now, I have no problem with being 44, but gosh golly, I do not care to have my hair make me look older than I am. (That job belongs to my wrinkles!) This has nothing to do with not loving myself but with loving myself enough to continue to do something that makes me happy.


So here's the thing - I will put up with wearing "cheaters" to read every menu and freaking medicine label; I will pop pills to help control my stomach acid; and I will learn to live with the aches and pains that I am realizing come with inching up the age meter. But I will not, at this time in my life, under any circumstances, embrace the gray hair. It is not happening. How's that for authentic?


And to you, Today show, Yahoo, Oprah, et al, I say Bah Humbug!! Your youngster fashionista style editors seem to enjoy making us all feel crappy about everything from skirt lengths to high heels, but you will not pull this one over on me!


I am old enough to know better!!