Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A Guest Blog

A note from Bev...



A dear friend of mine recently posted on Facebook a very thoughtful and well-written essay about her son and his football career.  Laura is a busy mother of 5 children and I have always admired her ability to "do it all" so well! Her essay made me think about my word choices and assumptions I make about my own kids. Our lives change dramatically as our children get older; we find ourselves so caught up in the drama of parenting a teenager that sometimes we forget to just be proud.

I, personally, get tired of hearing how terrible “kids are today.” Most of the teens I meet are pretty darn good kids doing their best in a weird world. I think they’re awesome. And yes, I think Jonathan – and his mom – are pretty awesome too.  

By Laura Zanga

When our kids are young, it’s very easy to show them off and brag. As they get older, it becomes more difficult. It’s not that there are necessarily less things we are proud of, it’s we feel a little uncomfortable with talking about them to others. We don't want to come across as the boasting parent and God forbid we "one up" any of our friends kids.

Growing up I never heard my mom boast about any of us. It just wasn't her. She did, however, tell me once that she really didn't want to hear about other people's kids so why should she bore them with her kid’s little anecdotes? Fair enough, I suppose but at the same time why deny yourself that one little moment when you really have something special to share. That's just what I am going to do.

For the last 10 weeks I have sat in the stands watching my son Jonathan's team get beat every Friday night and for a mother sitting there week after week let me tell you it was rough. Five out of the 10 games they lost by a touchdown or less. Boys (including Jon) were playing both offense and defense some games because there wasn't enough players.

There were a few games I actually had to leave early because I just couldn't take it. One or two games I wanted to cry. Now I know that may seem silly and a bit pathetic to some. I get that, but when you have a son like mine who is quiet, never really expresses himself, it’s hard because you really don't know how much he hurts or how disappointed he really is. But, what he did show me these last 2 1/2 months is a kid with a lot of character, self-confidence and loyalty.

The past few years Jon has been banged up with bruised ribs, an injured hip that required therapy, and a concussion. But he never once complained, never once was late for practice and never missed a practice or game, even when he was hurt and couldn't play. What I saw was a kid that not only got hurt on the field but off the field as well (especially this past season) by his school mates and even some friends. I must admit even his dad and I made comments about the coach. His response to me was "mom you don't know him. He's good to us, takes care of the players and mom, he's a good Christian man."

Well, talk about putting me in my place. I've never said another word about his coaches again. If Jonathan gained nothing else from this whole experience, what he did gain was the privilege of being coached by someone he respected. I told Joe a few weeks back I wasn't going to miss this. I lied. I will miss very much seeing my kid run across the field, miss very much the talks about the next week’s game and seeing him all dressed up in his good clothes on game day. Even the smelly, muddy, practice clothes will be missed. I will miss it all because it was a big part of Jon's last 6 years and a big part of who my son is.

 The young Man he has become.

 I'm proud of you, Jonathan and I'm not ashamed to say it!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Ho Ho Ho!!

I always have a little bit of a chuckle at this time of year at how many people get so incredibly worked up about the early launch of the Christmas season.

"Oh no, the Christmas display is up at Wal-Mart!" they cry. "What about Thanksgiving?" they question. "I don't want to hear any Christmas carols yet!" they post on Facebook.

To which I say HO HO HO!!!


The Christmas season is a time of wonder, love and renewal. The birth of our Savior is the highlight to my year. It's also a time of special remembrance to me as I mark another year since the death of my wonderful daddy. I realized many years ago that I could choose to be sad or I could choose to honor his memory by squeezing every ounce of joy out of this blessed time.

You can bet I choose the latter.

The first time I see Christmas lights is always one of my favorite days of the year. I, frankly, don't see that anything gets taken away from Thanksgiving just because some stores are playing Christmas music already. Instead, what I see is an enlarged window of opportunity to enjoy a little of the warm fuzzies as we remember Christmases past. It does not lessen my thankfulness or thoughtfulness over the Thanksgiving holiday one bit.

I think of this small bit of Christmas celebrating before Thanksgiving as a bonus time. I can stop and enjoy the music without that slightly panicky-stomach-upset that I should be shopping, wrapping presents or stamping Christmas cards. Psychologically I know it would make my life so much easier to do it now rather than closer to Christmas, but the deadline-loving girl in me can't seem to get with that program. Since I won't organize and plan early for Christmas, I should revel in it now!!

Plus, since I think people in general tend to be nicer at Christmas-time, it certainly can't hurt to start a little earlier and hope that the niceties start earlier too. Sure, it would be great if everyone were nicer ALL year long, but I'll take what I can get.

So the next time you hear a Christmas song on the radio or see an early-bird light display, stop for a minute and just try to enjoy it.... please? You might find it puts a smile on your face!

Hugs & God Bless,
Beverly

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

What are your keys?

The Apology
So it has definitely been a long month since I've posted! I've thought of many, many topics to write about over the last few weeks but have been strapped for time to do them justice.

I thought maybe I could write at night, after the kids were asleep. When I was younger (hate that phrase), I painted entire rooms at 3 a.m.  But these days I find sleep is more of a commodity than ever before, and that trying to stay up late to get something done (like this blog), usually results in something not so great. It's hell to get old!

Moving On
 I watched a segment on The Today Show recently about women returning to work after being home with kids for 5-10-15 years. Now, I'm not entirely certain I'm ready to return to the workforce at this time but it sounded like an interesting segment and I'm glad I watched it. They interviewed two "experts" about some of the issues we face and how to prepare for the job transition. The experts were Sarah Brokaw, author of the book "Fortytude" and Pamela Mitchell, author of the book  "The 10 Laws of Career Reinvention."

One of the most important things I heard from both authors involved self-esteem. Brokaw said that women returning to the workforce need to get their confidence up. “There’s always going to be three key strengths you can develop and hone," she said. Her advice was to figure out what those strengths are at home, and then bring them into the workforce. At the very least, you can remind yourself of what those three key strengths are before you go into an interview situation.

This got me to thinking about what my own three key strengths might be... and that this is a great exercise for anyone, particularly those who are going through some sort of transition. When you've been working in the same job or doing the same thing for many years you can sometimes lose sight of what you are best at doing, and it's important to keep that in the forefront of your psyche. In my particular case my job is being a mother, so I'm going to take some time over the next few days and figure out what my three key strengths are as a mother. I'd love for you to think about this subject and figure out your own key strengths and, if you're comfortable, sharing them! I promise I'm not trying to go all Stuart Smalley on you, I just think it's important not to allow our own sense of humility to sabotage our efforts to grow.

I haven't had time, yet (hah!) to read Sarah Brokaw's "Fortytude" but it's definitely on my list! If anyone has read it, please let me know what you thought of it.  I'll be posting a little review on it sometime soon!

Hugs & God Bless,
Beverly