Just call me Dobby

Once again, it has taken me 10 days to write the next post. Sorry friends, the days are getting away from me! I'm trying to keep this to a weekly thing, hoping that's enough to keep people interested but not too much to be annoying.

So, this was one of those mornings that every parent in the universe (except all the perfect parents of course!) experiences with their children. Nobody wanted to get out of bed, including me. Had to battle with Little Missy over getting dressed. Argued with son over actually eating the lunch I've packed for him versus leaving it to rot so he can buy lunch everyday. Discussed the fact that while Toaster Strudel is yummy, if you're still hungry after eating one, that is a pretty good sign it's not a good breakfast and that we should add a banana or apple to that breakfast plate (why do I even buy the dang things, I wonder!)

This led to two things:

1. A strong twinge of nostalgia for the days when we had just small children at home, who didn't need to be to preschool till 9. I truly miss the days of snuggling on the couch with them as they could take the time to wake up slowly while watching Little Bear and eating whatever breakfast I'd made that morning. They'd get dressed in the family room, and I might grumble a bit about the left-behind jammies, but all in all it was a pleasant way to start the day.

2. The realization that it's that time of year when the "Mom is not the House Elf" speech has to be dusted off and put into play.

Here's what happens every school year: School starts. I'm alternately sad (because inevitably we didn't do everything we wanted to do over the summer and I hate homework more than the kids) and giddy (because, well, four kids, do the math). In order to combat the new-school-year-blues and try to make the morning transition as painless as possible, we start out with mom showing the love and making it all good...  lunches are made, complete with mushy note in the lunchbox;  everyone gets the breakfast of their choice; I make sure snacks and water bottles are parked in the back packs; in short, I don my Dobby cloak and if a sock of gratitude should fall my way, I'm a happy camper.

My goal here is to help them get started on a great year, but eventually be able to do all these things on their own with just a mild amount of supervision. Model the behavior, point out what they need to be doing, eventually nudge them along to doing it themselves. Clearly, all my children are old enough to pour themselves a bowl of cereal-and-moo for breakfast, just as they are all old enough to make their own lunches (with varying degrees of healthiness) and pack their own backpacks. The problem is recognizing the point when the kids start to expect mom to do all these things rather than appreciating the fact that mom is trying to help them out. Thus, the nudging is now going to become the outright pushing. I still want to be able to do all these things for them, but I know that for them to become confident, self-sufficient children, teens and eventually adults, they have to learn to juggle the morning madness with just a little bit of back-up from mom & dad.

My feeling is this: I am the MOM, and a stay-at-home mom at that. My job (and currently ONLY job) is take care of the troops. Sometimes this means showing them how to do something, allowing them to do and, if necessary, to fail, and providing some meaningful support when necessary. This does not mean doing everything for them and/or picking up all the pieces when they don't do something right. However, kids should be able to make mistakes with some subconscious expectation that someone has their backs. I'm pretty sure that's written somewhere in my job description (somewhere before lighting the fires and after mopping the floors). So, I'll keep reminding and prodding, and hoping that eventually I will get nostalgic twinges for the days when the kids let me make their lunches.

Now that I think about it, maybe House Elf IS a good title. After all,  "Dobby did it for the best."

Hugs & God Bless,
Beverly

P.S. Have had so many wonderful people asking about Kylie and how she is recovering after her concussion. So far, so good. Initial round of blood tests have come back negative for any sort of blood disorders that might have been responsible for the clotted vein, so that's a good thing. Visiting the neurologist on Monday and praying that he clears her for "active duty." The lack of physical play is starting to wear on us all! Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers! They make a difference!